Amazon

Posted: April 28, 2012 in Ramblings...

They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I’m not so sure about that… I mean, I can readily admit I have a problem, but it doesn’t really stop me from doing what I do. I think they need to change that saying to “The first step to recovery is having your spouse place parental controls on your Amazon.com account.” It’s called an addiction folks…

I’m not really sure what it is about Amazon, but that site is just AMAZING. Where else can you search for just about anything from the discretion of your own semi-darkened office? (Wow that really sounded creepy…). I just got an email this morning, here’s what the subject line said:

Amazon.com Recommends: Precious Lil’ Pirate Toddler / Child Costume

So you know I had to open that message up… Once open, I had like 20 different links to check out items that matched some of my previous buying history. And that’s when I realized I really do have a problem… The list included photography equipment, LED lights on a strand, a 365-day Chuck Norris desk calendar, A Bob Ross DVD collection, Hong Kong Phooey T-shirt Iron-on’s, fake eyebrows, ski goggles, and bulk batteries. Oh, all that in addition to the Precious Lil’ Pirate Toddler / Child Costume that is… Funny thing is that as I viewed all these recommendations I was all like “wow… Amazon really DOES know me!”

As a side note, the “Precious Lil’ Pirate Toddler / Child Costume was nothing like what I was expecting. That may or may not have anything to do with the fact that whenever I see the word “Lil’” in any product description I immediately think the worst. For example, I’m picturing this outfit that has one leg permanently affixed in the “up” position, while the other leg is in the “down” position. The costume comes with an eye-patch, but instead of solid, it’s slotted like Kayne’ West sunglasses, and there is a “crunk cup” accessory that comes with instructions on how to make your own codeine-laced sizurp mixture.

By the way, I know I still have yet to explain why the “Precious Lil’ Pirate Toddler / Child Costume” was recommended on the email… but I think that’s enough for today.

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